Elvis 1 - Brewdog 0

The King of Rock & Roll

I see that the increasingly risible owners of Brewdog have come unstuck with the name of one of their beers, Elvis Juice. The estate of Elvis Presley had objected as they did not want anyone to assume that the beer had been endorsed by them.

In relation to a copyright case involving one of their own brands, Brewdog had previously declared on their website:

"By protecting our trademarks, when we have to, we are just looking after our business and our team. We own trademarks just like we own our buildings, our brewing equipment, and our dogs. If someone stole our dog or our bottling machine we would not be happy, intellectual property is no different."

However, when it came the Presley estate's intellectual rights they tried to brazen it out, declaring that the move was "baseless litigation" and that they had not chosen the beer's name to massage the egos of late celebrities. To support their case, the two owners both changed their names by deed poll to Elvis to 'prove' that the name was not exclusive. I'd have thought the word 'punk' was not exclusive, but that hasn't stop the duo from copyrighting the word. 

Will Brewdog ever appear on a stamp?

Furthermore, their scorn for "baseless litigation" didn't stop them from setting their lawyers earlier this year onto a Birmingham pub which had the cheek to call itself the Lone Wolf, not knowing this was the name Brewdog use for their spirits. With Brewdog, when anyone else does it, it's theft, but when they do it, they try to trample any objections under foot by a combination of gimmicky publicity and rapacious lawyers - more bully than punk, surely?

The UK's Intellectual Property Office has decided that they cannot use the name Elvis on the grounds that it is so closely associated with the King of Rock & Roll that people could wrongly conclude that it was an officially licensed product. Oliver Morris, the Trademark hearing officer, ruled: "I consider most average consumers, on seeing the name Elvis alone, are likely to conceptualise that on the basis of Elvis Presley." Brewdog have been told to pay £1500 costs.

I have no particular objection to a business protecting its copyrights, but I find it distasteful when a company demonstrates such hypocritical double standards as Brewdog have. They have the right to appeal; on previous form, I think it unlikely that they will give in gracefully.

Brewdog climb down

From a post in September 2015 about a petition against an offensive Brewdog video:

I wrote on the 3 September how Brewdog's campaign to wrest money from their fans to fund their business had caused offence: they've been accused of mocking homeless people, trans women and sex workers in their video, with the message: don't force them [i.e. Brewdog] to do such humiliating things to raise money. Despite 20,508 signatures on the petition, Brewdog are unrepentant. Their response was: "If you believe we are ridiculing [trans people, homeless people, sex workers], you are either misguided, ill-informed or out of your tiny mind."

At the time, I thought I'd like to see how that kind of defence would stand up in court: "If you think I stole that car, you are either misguided, ill-informed or out of your tiny mind." Guaranteed to win over the hearts and minds of any jury.

Brewdog have now quietly removed the offensive video from their YouTube account. They have done this without fanfare or comment - which is in itself completely out of character - to avoid the press reporting that they had backed down in response to external pressure, in this case from a petition that eventually gained 36,961 signatures. These cartoon punks don't want to be seen admitting they did anything wrong, but it's clear to me that the campaign had the desired effect.

David becomes Goliath

Now just The Wolf

In one way, it's quite funny watching BrewDog setting their lawyers onto a Birmingham pub which had the temerity to call itself the Lone Wolf, which is the name BrewDog uses for its spirits. They claimed trade mark infringement, which is what the estate of Elvis Presley claimed when BrewDog called one of its products Elvis Juice: they put two fingers up to the Elvis estate by reportedly both changing their names to Elvis by deed poll. At the time they wrote: "Here at BrewDog, we don’t take too kindly to petty pen pushers attempting to make a fast buck by discrediting our good name under the guise of copyright infringement."

They clearly hadn't anticipated the bad publicity surrounding their hypocrisy, so they changed tack in a hurry, offering to send some Lone Wolf spirits when the pub, unable to afford a legal battle, altered its name to, simply, the Wolf. The reality of this pair of very rich chancers has become clear to see: while the Guardian reported that they had backed down, I don't see it that way. They may have called off the lawyers, but they still got their own way with the name in the end.

They are punk entrepreneurs in the same way that Richard Branson is a hippy entrepreneur. When you hijack youth culture - of past youth in both of these cases, hippy and punk - the businessman will in time take over. In this case, they have blamed trigger-happy lawyers; whether that's true or not I can't be certain, but the point is that they employed these lawyers and therefore are responsible for whatever actions they take. Blaming people you pay to do a job seems somewhat spineless: it would have been more honest if they'd simply admitted without qualification, "Yes, we got this one completely wrong." But admitting they've made a mistake is not what BrewDog ever do; for example, in 2015 they completely rejected what were, in my view, well-grounded accusations of mocking homeless people, trans women and sex workers in one of their videos - I wrote about it here.

No one thinks of Branson as a hippy nowadays; similarly, does anyone, other than their loyal fans, take BrewDog's self-proclaimed punk credentials seriously?

Two fingers from Brewdog

I wrote on the 3 September how Brewdog's campaign to wrest money from their fans to fund their business had caused offence: they've been accused of mocking homeless people, trans women and sex workers in their video, with the message: don't force them [i.e. Brewdog] to do such humiliating things to raise money.

Despite 20,508 signatures on the petition, Brewdog are unrepentant. Their response was: "If you believe we are ridiculing [trans people, homeless people, sex workers], you are either misguided, ill-informed or out of your tiny mind."

They're so full of themselves, they just don't get it, do they? Their intentions aren't really the point; if you cause this kind of offence inadvertently, the best thing to do is apologise. By accusing 20,508 petitioners of being misguided, ill-informed or out their tiny minds, they have shown a breath-taking arrogance, especially as I am sure they can understand why some people are upset, even if they think they are wrong to be so.

To give an analogy: I have in the past been politely stopped by women friends when I used the term 'girl' to describe a young adult woman. My response was to say sorry and correct myself. No offence intended or caused. If I had persisted in saying 'girl' in front of those women, then it would then have been clear I was deliberately trying to cause offence. This is in effect what Brewdog has done.

If they'd just said "sorry, didn't mean to upset anyone" and withdrawn the video, they'd have gained some respect for listening. As it is, they've shown what they are: arrogant wealthy businessmen who refuse to accept they may have made a mistake. This suggests to me they actually believe all their own hype, so you can add the word 'deluded' to the mix.

That tells me all I need to know about them really.

P.S at 4.22pm: 20,524 signatures now.

Capitalist 'Punks' offend again

BrewDog, officially the most irritating brewery in the world*, has offended again with their latest attempt to raise cash to the extent that a petition has been set up to demand that they withdraw it and apologise. The petition states:

BrewDog beer company claims to be "beer for punks". They claim to be ethical. Yet in their new crowdsourcing video they mock homeless people, trans women and sex workers. They say, "don't make us do this" whilst performing as offensive caricatures of people, many of whom already suffer discrimination every day. They are mocking the lives and experiences of people who real punks would be defending and helping. Worse, this is a fundraising video - they're using these images in an exploitative manner to make money.

I regard the video as rather vain and quite childish, but I can see why some people might find it offensive, so I've signed. I've done this aware that BrewDog will probably regard this petition as a badge of honour, because they claim to be punks.

Except they're not really: they are no more punks than Richard Branson is a hippy. You'd never seriously put them alongside The Clash, The Sex Pistols or Siouxsie and the Banshees, would you? There's 'iconoclastic' - and there's 'silly'. If you want to sign the petition, it's here.

* Source: Rednev's ReARM.

Brewdog Punk IPA

Considering all the fuss that's made about Scottish brewery BrewDog (much of it by themselves), I bought a bottle of Punk IPA, currently in Tesco's for £1.39. The label describes it as a post modern classic pale ale; I've never really been sure exactly what post-modern means, and I'm even less sure how a beer can be post-modern. Still, the label goes on to say:

This is not a lowest common denominator beer. This is an aggressive beer. We don’t care if you don’t like it. We do not merely aspire to the proclaimed heady heights of conformity through neutrality and blandness. It is quite doubtful that you have the taste or the sophistication to appreciate the depth, character and quality of this premium craft-brewed beer. You probably don’t even care that this rebellious little beer contains no preservatives or additives and only the finest fresh natural ingredients. Just go back to drinking your mass-produced, bland, cheaply made, watered down lager and close the door behind you.

Amusing tongue in cheek arrogance, except this brewery's style of self-publicity is becoming slightly irritating (I have written about BrewDog previously - see the posts here).  The beer is 6%, full-flavoured and extremely hoppy, and kept its head right to the bottom. I enjoyed it, but perhaps just for a change rather than all night. Immediately afterwards I went to the Guest House where they had Liverpool Organic Brewery Liverpool Pale Ale (4%), an excellent pint that tasted to me like a rather more subdued version of the Punk IPA - there was definitely a stylistic similarity. I decided to stay on this beer, but found it had run out. Adnams tasted rather ordinary afterwards.

Strongest beer sold in real animals!

The End of History?

Master self-publicists Brewdog, a small Scottish brewery which specialises in shocks and creating moral panic, have brewed a new strongest beer in the world: it's called The End Of History, is 55% and costs £500 a bottle - only 12 bottles have been produced.  I have written before about their previous strongest beers, but this time the shock tactic is not just the strength, but the fact that the bottles are encased in stuffed animal coatings: seven dead stoats, four squirrels and one hare. You can read Brewdog's reasoning behind this beer on their website.

The beer itself has been described as a blond Belgian ale with touches of nettles and juniper berries (one of the key ingredients of gin) and in order to achieve the strength, it was created using extreme freezing techniques. 

Predictably, there have been reactions on two fronts. Firstly, the standard knee jerk reaction from the anti-alcohol campaigners, who completely miss the point that your average alcoholic isn't going to spend £500 on a bottle of beer, even if he had that kind of money to spare.

But also from an animal welfare point of view: on a good causes website I sometimes look at, someone wrote an item about this beer which has elicited 482 comments so far (far more than for more serious topics, so clearly little furry animals can cause you to lose your perspective). Many of the comments condemned the animal cruelty they assumed was involved, even though it was made clear that the animals were already dead, so no cruelty could have occurred. I commented twice that it's a publicity stunt, which has worked as they’ve all now heard of Brewdog, when they hadn’t before – but my words were swept away by a flood of horrified overreaction.

Funnily enough, the more pertinent question of bad taste never arose.

Even stronger strongest beer in the world!

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that the German-brewed 40% Schorschbock had been proclaimed as the strongest beer in the world. It seems that Brewdog, the previous holder of this pointless record, has responded with a 41% abv quadruple IPA called Sink the Bismarck!, priced at £40 for a 330ml bottle.  You can only buy it from the brewer’s website. Brewdog suggest that such beer should be enjoyed responsibly like a nice dram or a glass of fine wine: "A beer like Sink the Bismarck! should be enjoyed in spirit sized measures."

Some people have found the name of this beer offensive, objecting to jokes about the wartime sinking of the Bismarck with the loss of 1995 men (which itself had previously sunk the HMS Hood with the loss of 1418 men). But Brewdog loves controversy and I've no doubt this choice of name was deliberate, especially as they were reclaiming the record from a German brewery. My view is that this name demonstrates the same mentality as football fans who make Hitler salutes to German football teams. Surely it's about time we British stopped being so WW2-fixated?

At this price, the beer is considerably dearer than a fine malt whisky; if I wanted a drink of such strength, I know what I'd prefer to spend my cash on.

Punk and the British Empire

Not being a royalist, I take little interest in the Birthday Honours list, so I'm rather late with this piece of news. The self-styled punks who founded the Brewdog brewery in Aberdeenshire, James Watt and Martin Dickie, have been given MBEs, which only confirms what I've always thought about these highly successful self-publicists: they're about as 'punk' as Phil Collins. The Pub Curmudgeon greeted the news with this on Twitter: So much for being punks and rebels then.

Advertisers dream of creating in the customer a feeling of personal connection with the product or a person representing the product. To varying degrees, this has been done with business people like Steve Jobs and Apple, or celebrities such as Gary Lineker with crisps. The sadness a lot of people feel when a High Street chain closes, such as Woolworth's, C&A and BHS, is another aspect of the same phenomenon of identifying with a brand.

In the case of Brewdog, it has been through irreverent and occasionally controversial (or perhaps deliberately offensive) stunts usually featuring Watt and Dickie themselves, and proclaiming they are a new kind of punk business, completely unlike anything that has gone before. It's no more than a modern twist on good old-fashioned hype really.

Facts: the Brewdog two are multimillionaires and are now Members of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. Cheers, chaps!

Here are some punks who inexplicably were not honoured by her madge:

Formby pubs

Formby, a few miles south of Southport, consists of a village surrounded by large dormitory estates. It has often been described as a real ale desert in the past. Fred and I decided to check a few Formby pubs to deliver the local CAMRA mag, Ale & Hearty and see whether we could get any more adverts.

Our first stop was the Grapes on the corner of Ryeground Lane and Green Lane. It is a large, comfortable pub that is clearly food-based. The beers they had on were Bombadier and Pedigree, with a Landlord clip turned around on a third hand pump. Usual suspects perhaps, but if you have a limited range, beers like that sell.

Next was the Freshfield on Massams Lane and near Freshfield Station. Nine cask beers and a cask cider (Westons Scrumpy) were on: York Guzzler, Titanic Iceberg, Purbeck Thermal Cheer, Harviestoun Bitter and Twisted, Red Squirrel Mild, Lancaster Bomber, Greene King IPA, Old Speckled Hen and Ruddles County. My Iceberg was lovely and Fred enjoyed his half of Guzzler. The Freshfield features regularly in my What's On column for its music nights: open mike nights twice a month, and a monthly roots and acoustic night, a monthly jazz night and a comedy night.

The Railway by Formby Station was third. Nine pumps were in operation selling Fullers Bengal Lancer, Brains Rev James, Landlord, Cains Bitter and Black Sheep. The Bengal Lancer at 5% was deceptive, but very enjoyable. There were good offers on food, and this pub is proud to boast of its cask beers in large letters, as the sign shows.

The Cross House in Three Tuns Lane had a surprise: as well as Greene King IPA and Old Speckled Hen, there was BrewDog Rip Tide, a stout. You don't see BrewDog in this area very often, so this was a pleasant surprise, and a very well-balanced and flavoursome drink it was too.

The verdict on the Formby pubs we visited was favourable overall, and the Railway and the Feshfield are very close to railway stations; it's certainly no real ale desert. I'm reliably told that Formby Conservative Club, also on Three Tuns Lane, is very good for beer too, but for obvious reasons, I haven't checked it personally!

Move aside CAMRA

It's dangerous to begin reading too many beer blogs - I try to keep my intake to around four units a day - because you sometimes read some outrageous rubbish that you feel you have to respond to, but then a quiet voice at the back of my mind will say, "Leave them, Nev, they're not worth it!"  Mind you, I don't always take notice.

My friend Tandleman wrote a cheery post that it's the Great British Beer Festival (GBBF) next week and let's all have a good time (you can read what he wrote here).  A simple enough suggestion, you'd think, but no:  controversy raged in the comments below his post that CAMRA was stifling innovation in the beer world, that the Campaign should embrace "alternative methods of dispense" (a euphemism for keg), and whether the withdrawal of egomaniac Scottish brewery Brewdog from the GBBF was CAMRA's fault or the brewery's.  Who cares?  As I wrote myself, some beer bloggers certainly know how to party!

I've written about Brewdog and the craft keg debate before, but there was a novelty in this selection of rantings:  Tandleman pointed out a bizarre suggestion that "the GBBF is outgrowing CAMRA & their approach. Is it time someone else organised this countries [sic] flagship beer festival? I think so."  Tandleman wiped the floor with that stupid comment, pointing out that the GBBF is CAMRA's, not the country's, and it would be difficult for anyone else to organise a festival on such a scale without the army of volunteers that CAMRA can call on - he said a lot more, but you can click on the link above if you'd like to read it.

Another stupid comment was that as it's the Great British BEER Festival, CAMRA should not be selling ciders and perries, and as CAMRA promotes real ale, there should be no continental beers.  Well, as it happens, I was outraged the other week when I went into a café and discovered as well as coffee, they also served tea.  Even more damning, they even sold food.  Don't they know the word café means coffee?

In case anyone thinks there is a sensible point to be answered here:

• CAMRA has since its early days supported real ciders and perries because they are traditional British drinks which have been even more at risk than real ale.  I expect the reason why they're not included in the name CAMRA is because CAMRACAP is a bit of a mouthful, but they are clearly written into in CAMRA's aims.
• Continental beers, although they often do not conform to CAMRA's definition for British beers, are served at CAMRA festivals in a manner appropriate to their own traditions.  After all, that's all CAMRA wants for British beer:  that it be served in accordance with our beer traditions.  It is not inconsistent to respect other traditional styles.

As for all those who say CAMRA should do this, or shouldn't do that (usually not members), they misunderstand what CAMRA is:  a campaign whose policies are decided by its members, and not by certain embittered beer bloggers, of whom a few admit they rarely or never go to pubs, preferring to sup their supermarket selections of bottled beers in their own living room.  I have no problem with people enjoying a beer at home, but when that's all you do, you've reduced beer to a private pleasure, like eating a box of chocolates while watching TV.  To me, beer is not an end in itself, but is a part of my social life - quite a big part, I'd agree, but a part nonetheless.  I rarely drink beer at home.

Most beer bloggers are fine; I enjoy reading what they write, and I sometimes chuck in my own two penn'orth.  Disagreements can be fine too.  I suppose that some of the simmering rage that occasionally shows among a noisy, aggressive minority is because they know that, whatever they blog about, it won't make the slightest bit of difference to CAMRA, or the world of beer in general.  Having spent years involved in a trade union and a political party, I've learnt to accept that it's no good merely ranting about how things should be.  Either you get involved to try to change things, or you don't bore others with your impotent frustrations - in other words, put up or shut up.  Besides, don't you know that beer's supposed to be fun?

Blogs can be interesting, and there are quite a few links on the right to a variety of blogs:  the Pub Curmudgeon has three categories of blogs among his links, one of which is headed:  Beer and pub blogs (may contain nuts).  And yes, that's where he's put me!

I'm not going to the GBBF this year, but if you are, I hope you enjoy yourself - and just ignore the nitpickers and hair splitters, but if they're at home supping their bottles, I don't suppose you'll come across them.  Cheers!

First Monday singaround

A reminder that the free Guest House singaround on the 1st Monday of the month will take place tomorrow (Monday) evening, from around 8.30 pm.  The singaround is open to all, and performing is, of course, optional.  As regulars will know, this Good Beer Guide pub serves up to 10 real ales.  I hope to see you there.

The music session on the 3rd Monday in the Guest House will take place as usual.

Hopping for the best:

I usually switch off when Radio 4's Food Programme comes on but today it was about hops.  They spoke to people from Shepherd Neame and BrewDog, and had Roger Protz, Good Beer Guide editor, in the studio.  Towards the end there was a tasting of beers from BrewDog and Meantime brewery, with some of the pretentious descriptions that people like to invest the simple process of drinking beer with, but don't let that put you off.  It's repeated on Monday at 4.00 pm and then will be on BBC iPlayer.  Definitely worth listening to.

Corn flakes, treason and dogs

Three unexpected stories from the world of beer that I've come across recently.

 

Seven Bro7hers Brewery in Salford has teamed up with cereal giant Kelloggs to produce a beer out of unused corn flakes. The flakes will be completely safe for human consumption, being those that are too big, too small, broken or overcooked. The first beer to use the flakes will be called Throw Away IPA with a strength of 5%. The limited edition beer will use the flakes to replace some of the wheat grain in the mix. Alison Watson from the brewery said: "Kellogg's recognises that it has an important role to play in reducing food waste, and that includes finding uses for edible food that doesn't make it into the cereal box. We plan to create three beers, including a hoppy IPA which will be launched this month."

I had to check the date wasn't 1st April for the next one. Scottish brewery BrewDog is introducing Subwoofer IPA, which they say is the first beer produced just for dogs. The idea was developed by the Brewdog team in Liverpool, who reported that the prototype was popular with local dog lovers. Subwoofer is made with wort from the brewery, the same malted barley and hot water that are used in their human IPAs. There were three rounds of tasting trials with 25 dogs before the team was satisfied with the product. The beer is hop-free and not carbonated; it is also alcohol-free, which is just as well, seeing that most dogs are under 18.

Newby Wyke of Grantham is brewing a beer in response the government's draft Brexit declaration: cheekily called 'Treason', it is a 4.2% ale. They've produced this beer before in relation to government ministers from all three major parties; they must like taking pot shots at any senior politicians who poke their heads above the parapet.

Brewer Robert March said: "One landlady said to me politicians and beer do not mix, but I replied they raise the beer taxes, so we can take the mickey. With what is going on with Brexit, I thought we should bring it back."

Locked down beer in pub cellars

Two locked down pubs in Churchtown, Southport.
The Bold (left) and the Hesketh (in the distance)

The order to close pubs, like many other businesses, was not unexpected, but the actual date came at very short notice. As a consequence, pub licensees had little chance to run down their stocks by reducing the size of their orders in the run-up to closure, meaning that the cellars of many pubs and bars have large quantities of unused beer, cider and perry. It is estimated that if they stay closed into the summer, 50 million pints will have to be discarded.

"It's a very sad waste of all the work and talent that goes into producing great beer," says Tom Stainer, CAMRA's chief executive. "People won't get to drink it and all those resources have been used up for nothing."

The shelf life of beers, ciders and perries depends on how it's produced, stored and served. Keg products, which include most beer sold in British pubs such as lagers, smoothflow beers (including a famous Irish stout) and ciders on fonts, can last for several months. Real ales and ciders, on the other hand, will only last for weeks, with any that have been already opened going off after a few days. All real ales, ciders and perries that had been opened at lockdown will probably have already been disposed of.

One suggestion is converting out-of-date beer into hand sanitiser by extracting the alcohol, which independent brewer Brewdog is already doing, but this is ultimately a very limited solution.

According to the BBC, supermarket alcohol sales increased by more than a fifth last month after pubs, cafes and restaurants closed.

"People are missing these things in their lives," says Tom Stainer. "It's not the biggest issue that the country is dealing with, but aspects of life like going to the cinema or café, or going for a pint, are something we treasure." 

Many breweries and distributors have offered to take back barrels at no charge once the lockdown is over, taking some of the financial pressure off licensees. However, more can be done, as Tom Stainer, explains:

“The Government needs to recognise the impact of an extended lockdown on [hospitality] businesses and confirm that the support package in place is extended until all restrictions are lifted. It must also consider a support package for pubs, breweries and cideries after they reopen, in recognition that it will take many months for businesses to recover fully.”

► This is one of a series of articles that I write for the CAMRA column in our local papers, the Southport Visiter and Ormskirk Advertiser.

Liverpool ~ and Higsons relaunched yet again

Higsons sign on a building next to the
Ship & Mitre (reflected in the marble).

I met my friends Carol and Ken from Wigan in Liverpool yesterday.  Beginning in the Ship and Mitre, I had St David's Ale (4.5%).  I don't remember the brewery, but it wasn't Brains who brew a beer of that name.  For some reason I expected a pale beer, but it was dark and tasted like a good mild rather than a stout.  We next went to the Vernon and Rigby's but stayed only for one in each pub as both were noisy with the football; Everton were apparently playing.  We finished in the Lion Tavern where Brewdog Trashy Blonde was on - an extremely bitter beer that Sean who runs the pub said was too much for some customers, but I liked it.  I wonder whether it would have seemed quite so bitter 25-30 years ago, when beers were more likely to be bitter than now.

I was asked whether I'd had the new Higsons which was launched at the Liverpool beer festival.  I haven't, but I'll keep an eye out for it.  It is brewed by Liverpool Organic, whose excellent 24 Carat Gold I had in the Guest House recently; I wrote about 18 months ago that they were trying to reproduce Higsons.  It is the second time that a brewer has tried to relaunch this long lost Liverpool beer, one of Whitbread's casualties.  There's nothing about Higsons on the Liverpool Organic website, which isn't surprising as brewery websites are often incomplete and out of date.

The great craft beer "debate"

Definition of craft from my Cambridge dictionary: "(a job or activity needing) skill and experience, especially in relation to making objects."

Most beer drinkers won't have noticed because they've got better things to do, but in the extremes of the beer drinking world, there are snooty, superior beings who consider they are discerning iconoclasts: they drink craft beer. What is craft beer? Basically, posh keg.

My view is: fine - whatever turns you on. But that's not good enough for these beer snobs - they want the Campaign for Real Ale to embrace these new keg styles, or (they keep on saying), it will be left behind, and become an outdated irrelevance. Some write about this in a carefully cultivated "more in sorrow than in anger" manner, while others shower unrestrained abuse upon CAMRA and its members. You'd think it was an organisation of devil worshippers sacrificing virgins - in beards, sandals and Arran sweaters, of course - rather than a collection of quite disparate beer drinkers with only one thing in common: they all like real ale.

Definition of craft keg: well, there isn't one. Hard to rally to this particular cause, then: "What do we want?" "Not quite sure." But individual lovers of craft beer each know what they mean by the term. Then you have another "debate" as to whether real ale can be craft, with opinions going both ways.

The issue has arisen because some new breweries have decided to follow the American example and brew quality beer to put it in kegs. The main reason why American brewers do this is because they don't have an ongoing tradition of serving beer in real form after the Prohibition wiped out most old American beer styles; it wasn't a deliberate rejection of cask beer. Scottish brewery BrewDog produce only keg beer now, and Hardknott, Meantime and Thornbridge are some of the breweries producing the new keg beer alongside real ale. The beer is often sold in modern bars at inflated prices, but that doesn't matter because craft drinkers love to pay over the odds to show how discerning they are.

Looking again at the definition of craft at the top of the page, it's clear that real ale can't be excluded. Some craft drinkers argue that the term should apply to small, artisanal breweries, which ignores the fact that the term "craft brewer" was coined by the American Brewers Association, who define it as a brewery producing up to 6 million barrels of beer per year! And as one wag pointed out, artisanal is a good term because it breaks down into art is anal.

The craft drinkers yearn for a definition they can all rally around, ignoring the fact that, with no broad agreement, there'd immediately be a load of dissenters muttering terms like sell-out. Real ale has a definition that is not only in the dictionaries but has the backing of law, but there can never be a craft beer equivalent because there is no consensus as to what it is. To be fair, though, I'd bet most people who drink it don't give a stuff about a definition, don't ever go near a blog, and never give a thought to CAMRA policies or what real ale drinkers prefer. It is, after all, a beer style, not a movement, but you'd never know that from the way some people write about it.

Is there anything in their predictions, such as CAMRA going into decline? Membership is increasing year after year; a lot of organisations would welcome that type of decline. Craft is the beer of the future? Real ale is the only sector of the beer market showing any increase in market share, and it now outsells keg, craft or otherwise.

I don't have a problem with the existence of craft beer, including keg, and wouldn't refuse to try it, if I knew anywhere I could buy it, but the nearest place I'm aware of is in Manchester, 40 miles away. I become very annoyed when craft drinkers start telling the Campaign for Real Ale (clue in the name, chaps) that it should embrace a style that most of its members don't want, as proved by repeated democratic votes at its national AGM. Either form your own organisation - after all, CAMRA began with just four men in a pub - or join CAMRA, get active and try to change the system from within. But, for heaven's sake, just stop whingeing on blogs.  

Tandleman has posted quite sensibly on this subject, but some of the comments below his post are bizarre, while Meer For Beer decided that this disagreement wasn't one she wanted to engage in. I don't blame her.

Perhaps with me, it's fools rush in ...

Free beer

I've just received an e-mail telling me that I've won a free pint in Ember Inns' NovEmber Beer Festival. I simply print off the voucher in the e-mail. I wonder what's to stop me printing a dozen vouchers?  These are the beers on offer:

• Thornbridge Wild Swan white gold pale ale 3.5%
• Stonehenge Old Smokey malty and dark 5%
• Project Green - the freshest beer in the land 4.5%
• Davenport's Fox's Nob deep copper ale 4.4%
• St. Austell Black Prince fruity black mild 4%
• Brewdog Trashy Blonde statuesque fruity ale 4.1%
• Copper Dragon Black Gold a 19th century recipe, 3.7%
• Liberation Ale all the way from Jersey, 4.0%
• Fraoch Heather Ale, with real heather, 5%
• Alton's Pride, Champion at the Great British Beer Festival 3.8%
• Wolf Brewery Granny Wouldn't Like It, fruity and dark red, 4.8%
• Rampant Gryphon, sip gently, 6.2%!

It looks a rather good selection. My nearest Ember Inn is the Railway, 7 miles away in Formby. I'll hop off the train next time I go to Liverpool.

Stamps Bar, Crosby

Stamps Bar in Crosby

I had agreed to meet an old school friend in Stamps Bar, Crosby, as neither of us had been there for some time. Situated on a prominent corner of the Liverpool-Southport road, it used to be a post office, hence the name, and is on two levels, the upper floor being reached by a wrought iron staircase.

The bar has six handpumps and the real ales available when we called were: Revolutions Pretender, BG Sips Pale Ale, Woodland Brewery Midnight Stout, Copper Dragon Golden Pippin, Bradford Odsal Top, and Stamps Bondi Blond. Yes, the pub has its own micro-brewery in nearby Kirkdale (capacity 36 gallons). The beer range is constantly changing, although it always includes one of Stamps own brews and a stout or porter. All the beers we tried were in good order, and the Bondi Blond was a pleasant, well-balanced, very drinkable pale beer that didn't rip your taste-buds off with excessive hops or citrus. Bottled beers include Stamps own range, plus a good selection of beers from around the world. Other drinks available are BrewDog Punk IPA, Blue Moon Belgian White Wheat Beer and a wide range of gins.

Stamps has several regular events during the week, much of it musical: Tuesday is ukulele night, Wednesday quiz night, Friday a disco and there is live music on Saturday and Sunday. Thursday 17th March is St Patrick's Day and they have special night planned. Food should be available very soon once a new chef is in post. The pub has free Wi-Fi and computer terminals for customers' use. Children are admitted, but no dogs. They have a pleasant outside drinking area to the rear, nicknamed by customers the Yard of Ale.

We had a very pleasant afternoon; there was a steady flow of customers and a happy buzz of conversation around the place. The busy barmaid was very helpful in telling me about the pub and the beers, and was so keen that we try the Stamps Bondi Blond that she gave us free samples - so how could we refuse?

Stamps is at 4 Crown Buildings, Crosby, L23 5SR. Phone: 0151 286 2662, and website. It is about 8/10 mile from Bundellsands station, but many buses, including the X2 and the 47, stop two minutes' walk away.

This is part of a series of articles that I am writing for the CAMRA column in our local paper, the Southport Visiter. Previous reviews are here.

The Vestry Tap Room, Tarleton

The Vestry Tap Room in Tarleton

I first learnt about the Vestry Tap Room after they had contacted the local CAMRA branch. It has been open for around six months.

I caught the 2 Stagecoach bus on Lord Street and about 40 minutes later was dropped off right opposite the pub. It was empty when I arrived except for Lisa behind the bar, although it did fill up later. Lisa was very helpful and patient as she answered all my various questions.

The main room is light with wooden walls to waist height and wooden furniture, including bench seating along the walls. There is also a comfortable room upstairs with easy chairs, and an outdoor drinking area to the rear of the building.

Lisa behind the bar at the Vestry

Three hand pumps were serving Avid Brewing Co. American Pale, Hawkshead Windermere Pale and Brewsmith Bitter. These beers are always changing and those due on next were from Polly's Brew Co., Tiny Rebel, Siren Craft Co. and Squawk Brewery. A real cider, Lilley's Rhubarb Cider, is also available. On Sundays, the real ales are reduced by 25% between noon and 4.00 pm. All three real ales were in good condition.

There are also lagers and craft beers, including a rhubarb milkshake pale called Rhubarbra Streisand! Other drinks offered include a large gin selection, canned craft beers and bottles of BrewDog Punk IPA.

On Tuesdays at 8.00 pm, a speed quiz is held, and Lisa had to explain to me what that actually was! Live music is presented once or twice a month between 5.00 and 9.00 pm on Sundays – next time is 29 September - and occasionally free cheese boards are offered, also on Sunday. Live sports are sometimes shown. 

On Friday 4 and Saturday 5 October they are putting on an Oktoberfest with an oompah brass band, imported German beer, gins, authentic German street food, live music and a DJ in a large marquee. It is a ticket-only do, and there aren't many left so if you're interested phone 01772 301976 to check.

The premises are not suitable for under-18s, but dogs are admitted. They have free WiFi, and are on Facebook where you can check the opening hours which do vary through the week. You'll find it at 109 Church Rd, Tarleton, Lancashire PR4 6UP.

► This is one of a series of articles that I write for the CAMRA column in our local papers, the Southport Visiter and Ormskirk Advertiser. Older articles on local pubs are here.

Nanny State Mocks Puritans

Humourless alcohol puritans, Alcohol Focus Scotland, have put a poll on their website inviting people to vote on minimum pricing (which I have previously written about here).  So far, 66% have voted against, which, I would imagine, is not the response they wanted. Let's try to make that figure higher before they remove the poll through embarrassment.  You can vote here. 

Why humourless?  Read their response to the name Scottish brewery BrewDog gave to their new 1.1% beer.  They've called it Nanny State. 

I found the last link on the Southport Drinker's blog ~ thanks.