I was having a drink with my friend Ann in the Park Hotel in Birkdale village in Southport a while ago and we were joined by the licensee. He told us stories about a large corner pub he used to run in Huyton, near Liverpool. One night, a regular was completely off his head, so our licensee said to him: "I'm not barring you and you'll be welcome back tomorrow, but I'm not serving you any more beer tonight."
The drinker agreed, and peaceably left by the side door. A minute later he re-entered by the front door and headed determinedly towards the bar. The licensee intercepted him and said: "I've just told you that I'm not serving you any more."
The drunk looked confused and asked: "How many pubs in this street do you run?"