I have no objection to cricket existing, as it clearly gives a lot of pleasure to a lot of people, but I find it intensely boring. I've been told this is because I don't understand the game, but this isn't true; after all, I was forced to play it for nine years at school.
It therefore seems somehow fitting that the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) has announced that Greene King IPA has become the Official Beer of England cricket. GK IPA is one of those intensely boring, utterly characterless beers, and it sits well alongside similarly tedious beers such as Tetley Bitter and John Smith Cask. In welcoming the deal with the ECB, GK's managing director describes the beer as "our iconic IPA". Funny: I never realised that 'iconic' now means 'dull as ditchwater'.
I don't know how the England cricket team is doing at the moment, but if their playing is as inspired as this beer, then if I were a fan, I'd be very worried. As it's the official beer, do the players have to drink it, I wonder? That would certainly be an unreasonable condition of employment.